-Taking my daughter Sister Buck to First Five weeks and seeing how much she's learned and grown in the last transfer. She's incredible honestly.
-Departing Temple Trip. It was absolutely priceless to be Reunited with the sisters I began this incredible journey with. It was also amazing to be back in the temple. Loads of tears.
-My Exit Interview with President McReynolds, more tears.
-Miracle Monday, my last real day as a missionary. It was indeed full of miracles.
-Sister Buck and I finished the Book of Mormon together.
-The Whitefield Ward surprised me with a Munch N Mingle. They all got me a Manchester hoodie, a card and flowers. So precious.
-transfer calls, Sister Buck is staying and getting follow up trained by Sister bulkley! They're gonna have a blast!
Well, my heart is filled (more than I ever imagined to be possible) with gratitude for my Saviour. I love Him. And I am eternally grateful for the privilege of being His representative for 18 amazing and sacred months. It has been the hardest, happiest most love-filled, brilliant rainy months when I've been sure that Heaven has been watching over me.
I first want to show appreciation and gratitude for you all for tuning in each week to read of my adventures. When I left home, I didn't know how I'd cope without you all but I've been so fortunate to become a part of a new family across the pond. A family consisting of a Mission President and his wife who became my temporary parents, senior couples who took on the role of grandparents, missionaries who became my mentors, my support, and my best friends, and members offering all sorts of help, love and support. All these people that I only met in the last year and a half, that I can't picture life without. I hope that I may write a few of the reasons why my mission is so special to me.
The Miracles
I learned on my mission that it wouldn't be a miracle if there was no impossibility to be conquered! I believe I experienced a miracle big or small every day of my mission. It was a miracle that I got to be trained by Sister Menlove! It was a miracle all the busses and trains we barely caught. It was a miracle after a 24- hour fast, getting a phone call from a member referring his sister-in-law Pat, and her being baptised 4 weeks later. It was a miracle when Chuyun was healed from mental illness from a simple yet powerful Priesthood blessing. It was a miracle to watch a couple, Gavin and Cassandra who lost their way get re-baptised and have all their covenants restored. It was a miracle to to see Josh go from a complete atheist to a member of the church and future missionary in 3 months time. It was a miracle that it started raining on September 27th leaving us no choice but to have our lesson in McDonald's where we met Libby. It was a miracle teaching the Okewe family from Congo and seeing them moved by the holy ghost and enter the waters of baptism one by one. It was a miracle watching incredible people change and grow because of this gospel. It was a miracle that I got to serve in 5 of THE BEST areas of the mission, totally not being biased. It was a miracle having the Companions I had, learning so much from each of them. It was a miracle praying for a future missionary I didn't even know for months and learning that I would be training her my last transfer (Sister Buck). It was a massive miracle that my $20 Target Rainboots and $8 Walmart umbrella lasted me 18 months.
The Disappointments
Now missions aren't always a ray of sunshine (especially England lol). There were moments where the whole world seemed to be against me. The moments when I felt like I gave it my all and had nothing left to give. When I got the news of my Granddad's passing and then later, my Granny's, I felt like I truly experienced what I've been teaching these people for 18 months. I experienced the great plan of happiness. I was able to look beyond the brief separation from two people I loved so dearly and look forward, into eternity. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that because of Him, "the grave hath no victory, and death hath no sting". I testify of angels. My sweet grandparents walked with me every day of my mission.
I felt disappointed when Diego cancelled his baptism two days before, after all the change and growth I saw in him. I was disappointed when a bag of sentimental belongings of mine got stolen while I wasn't looking. I was disappointed to leave areas and companions when I felt like I still had so much to learn from them. I was disappointed when all the amazing miracles fell through. I was disappointed at all the canceled appointments, all the no shows, and all the ignored texts. I was disappointed with companions, leaders, members, oh ya...MYSELF. But most of all, I felt like sometimes I disappointed God by not doing my best.
Feasting on the Word
As pathetic as it sounds, I don't think that I had a proper testimony of the Book of Mormon until I came on a mission. I remember seeing my breath while sitting in my freezing cold flat and having a vocal prayer in private to know if this book was true. I instantly felt such a warmth beginning in my heart and spreading to the tip of my fingers and toes. There was absolutely no denying such a clear answer. Soon after that experience, I got a blessing from an Elder who told me to liken the scriptures to every phase of my mission. From that time on, I did my best to do just that. I learned on my mission that the Book of Mormon absolutely is for our day. It's been an absolute pleasure reading it several times and also finishing it with Sister Buck my last transfer. I just know it's true!
Representing HIM
Wearing my Saviour’s name on my chest for the past year and a half has been an incredible blessing. I remember first putting it on in the Provo MTC and immediately feeling the power of Jesus Christ. That power is what drove me to continue moving forward and to never give up. I learned quickly that the Lord deserves my very best and even if my very best is only 30% or 70%, Christ would make up the difference. I think the first thing people saw when they looked at me was my badge. From door slams, to being sworn at, to having cigarette smoke blown on my face to people actually running away from me (lol). I encountered several mockers, persecutors, and disbelievers. Though their hearts were hardened towards me, I began to realise later on that they weren't rejecting me. They were rejecting who I represented. And He already paid the price for that rejection. And the Lord will always give them a second chance. The badge has seriously become apart of me and I don't know how I'm going to take it off :’(.
The Greatest Debt
This past Wednesday, we had a Relief Society party and we watched the John Tanner Story. Now for those of you who haven't seen it, this story recounts the life and conversion of a man, John Tanner who gave incredible amounts time and money to the church. At the end of the movie, Joseph Smith is face to face with John Tanner and thanks him for the massive help and love he has given to the church and says to him "Father Tanner, I am in your debt". John Tanner then says, "The only debt... is one of gratitude... and that is mine".
When I came on a mission (a 19 year old prideful kid), I thought I was doing such a selfless act. Sacrificing 18 months of my precious life, putting things on hold and giving so much (I hope you're getting my sarcasm here). I almost felt like the lord owed me blessings because of this 'huge sacrifice' I was making. And there were many times where I experienced real heartache, sadness, and disappointments enough to make me question, "Is this even worth it?". But looking back at all the experiences I had of pure happiness and pure joy, and all the things the Lord has blessed me with, I realised that the only debt truly is one of gratitude and it is mine. How incredibly grateful I am to the lord for giving me this sacred and wonderful opportunity. I feel like I can never repay him.
Conclusion/Testimony
If you were able to read though all of this, you may think that my mission sounds pretty average and typical to most missionaries. We all experience the same things in different ways. We experience everything from pure happiness to absolute anguish. We have times where we feel like we are at the end of our rope emotionally, spiritually, and physically, and then God asks us to go a little further. And if we have the faith to do it, to let go, we'd look down and realize at that moment that we haven't dropped because there were angels round about bearing us up. We go through these ups and downs, in the end we (hopefully) come out a stronger follower of Christ.
It's hard for me to put my testimony in words but I'll give it a go. I know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally. He loves us so much, that he sent his only son to perform the ultimate sacrifice. I know that this church was restored by a Prophet called of God. I know that the Book of Mormon confirms the truthfulness of this gospel. Most important, I know that God has a plan for me. I know that my Saviour is at the head of that plan. I know that the Lord placed me on earth at this time and called me to serve here in England for a reason. He knows me perfectly, he loves me and he loves all of you.
The scripture I wanted to end on is found in D&C 31:3
“Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation.”
My time here is up in England but my mortal mission continues. To forever keep his name in my heart and to always invite others to come unto Christ is my hope and prayer in the name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen.
I'll be arriving in Midland Texas on March 28th and be staying there for a couple of weeks and give a homecoming on that Sunday the 31st of March at 9am (address: 2102 Tarleton St) . I'll then be back in Springville Utah and give a second homecoming the 14th of April at 10:30am (address: 2379 East 1100 South). My heart is filled with excitement to see all of you but aches for the painful goodbyes I will face this week. I love this work and I love you all. See you soon.
For the last time,
Sister Gilland
England Manchester Mission
13 September, 2017-28 March, 2019
Pictures:
Black & white one is of me on my first day in the MTC
Departing Temple Trip, reunited with my MTC group, selfie with President and Sister McReynolds
The Pickerings from my first area came to visit me on my last Sunday!
